Why online games are no child’s play: A psychiatrist explains

As concerns grow over the psychological dangers of online games and challenges following the deaths of three minor sisters in Ghaziabad, The Federal spoke to psychiatrist Dr Vivian Kapil about why dangerous online challenges keep resurfacing, how games exploit adolescent psychology, and what parents and schools often miss before digital escape turns into emotional collapse.

Beyond addiction and screen time, Dr Kapil cautioned that some digital platforms are becoming emotional refuges for vulnerable children, slowly replacing real-world relationships and coping mechanisms. “When a child feels more competent, heard, and valued online than in the real world, that is a huge red flag we cannot ignore,” he warned.

Edited excerpts from the interview:

Why do dangerous online challenges keep returning in different forms despite earlier warnings like Blue Whale and Momo?

If we look at challenges like Blue Whale, Momo, or even the recent Korean-linked incidents, the psychology behind them has not changed. These challenges may come in different packages, names, and formats, but they all tap into the same core psychological vulnerabilities.

Adolescents and young adults are naturally drawn to novelty, secrecy, and risk-taking. If something feels exclusive or is being used by peers, it creates a strong urge to belong. These games exploit peer validation and the fear of missing out.

Also read: Ghaziabad suicides: Love for Korean culture, beatings from father mentioned in girls’ diary

There is also a neurological reason. During adolescence, the brain’s reward system matures much faster than the impulse control system, which develops fully only in the mid-20s. This makes young people especially vulnerable to manipulation through rewards, fear, and emotional pressure, eventually making them behaviourally compliant or dependent on these games.

Are parents avoiding their duties in ways that push children to seek emotional comfort in the virtual world?

It would be unfair to blame parents alone. We also need to consider the world we live in today. Many parents are physically present but emotionally unavailable due to work pressure, exhaustion, or their own digital distractions.

Children don’t just need supervision; they need a stable emotional support system—someone who listens without judgement. When that validation is missing or inconsistent, children start looking elsewhere.

Online games and forums are always available, responsive, and seemingly understanding. They begin filling that emotional gap, and over time, children can become dependent on them, often with serious consequences.

What happens emotionally when a game starts to feel more real than a child’s real life?

If a child feels more comfortable online than in the real world, that is a major warning sign. It suggests deeper underlying issues. Online, the child may feel more competent, more valued, more heard, and more in control compared to real life.

The real world can feel boring, overwhelming, or overly critical, while online spaces provide instant rewards and validation. Over time, this can lead to emotional numbness, low frustration tolerance, irritability, social withdrawal, and isolation.

Also read: Remember Blue Whale? Sister suicides bring back spotlight on addictive online games

In some cases, children also experience identity confusion. They may adopt identities that are not their own and use games as a way to escape reality rather than engage with it. That shift—from playing to escaping—is where the real danger lies.

What should realistically replace the time children spend on these games? What actually works?

We need to create emotional substitutes in the real world. Parents must spend quality time with children where they feel heard and not judged. That emotional connection is essential.

There should also be strong emphasis on real-life activities—sports, art, crafts, music, dance, and hobbies that provide a sense of belonging and achievement. Peer interaction in supervised, offline environments also plays a big role.

At the same time, it cannot be about constant restriction. Excessive bans can make children feel suffocated and rebellious. What works better is balanced supervision, predictable routines, and allowing freedom within boundaries.

When children come to you with gaming addiction, what warning signs do you usually see?

The signs are often subtle and develop over time. Children may withdraw from offline activities, spend increasing hours on screens, and avoid real-life pleasures. They may become irritable, angry, or aggressive when asked to stop gaming.

There are cases where restricting games leads to physical aggression. School refusal, declining academic performance, and social isolation are also major warning signs. Children who were doing well academically may suddenly disengage and lock themselves in their rooms, interacting only online.

Also read: 3 minor sisters jump from 9th floor in Ghaziabad after parents object to online gaming

These signs indicate the need for early intervention. Parents and teachers should be alert and seek professional help before the situation escalates.

How can parents or schools tell when a child is emotionally living inside a game rather than just playing it?

This requires comprehensive evaluation by a mental health professional. Blanket bans rarely work and often make things worse by increasing rebellion or aggression.

The key is to identify the underlying cause. Is there anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, impulsivity, ADHD, autism, or other neurodevelopmental or mental health issues? Many children turn to online spaces because they feel anxious, misunderstood, or unable to cope in the real world.

For some neurodivergent children, online environments feel safer because social communication is easier there. Gaming addiction works on the brain in much the same way as substance addiction, with similar changes in brain chemistry.

Unless we address the root psychological issues and create non-judgemental environments where children can express themselves, bans alone will not work. Consulting a mental health professional early is critical.

(The content above has been transcribed from video using a fine-tuned AI model. To ensure accuracy, quality, and editorial integrity, we employ a Human-In-The-Loop (HITL) process. While AI assists in creating the initial draft, our experienced editorial team carefully reviews, edits, and refines the content before publication. At The Federal, we combine the efficiency of AI with the expertise of human editors to deliver reliable and insightful journalism.)