Tulu ghost wedding: Spirits of kids who died decades ago to tie the knot

Come July-August, up to 100 people will gather in a rural part of Karnataka for a wedding festivity held according to Tulu tradition. But it will be a unique marriage — between two coconuts, representing a girl child who died 30 years ago and a boy who passed away 40 years ago.

Welcome to a ghost wedding that has created a stir on social media.

Amavasya wedding

The bride's family is from Puttur in Dakshina Kannada district, around 360 km from Bengaluru. The rare wedding will take place in the month of Ati (Ashada), specifically on the new moon that falls between July and August this year.

Among Tulus, this is called a 'Kule marriage' or the wedding of two ghosts.

Matrimonial ad

It all began when the bride's family placed an advertisement in a Kannada newspaper a fortnight back seeking a groom for a girl who had died 30 years ago.

The unusual advertisement attracted a lot of attention.

It read: "A girl from our caste who died 30 years ago is willing to do a ghost marriage with a boy who died 30 years ago. Please contact us.”

Fiery debate

The advertisement sparked heated debates on social media platforms. Some ridiculed the tradition. Those familiar with coastal customs defended it, elucidating its profound emotional and cultural significance.

Once private family affairs, ‘Kule marriages’ are now evolving into more public and, occasionally, extravagant ceremonies. At times, they are even held in temples.

Ghost wedding

According to the belief among the Tulus, marrying off such male or female ghosts will help the spirits avoid suffering as they died unmarried.

Ghost weddings are a longstanding tradition in coastal Karnataka, typically held in family homes. However, Udupi's Kudli Janardhana temple is renowned for conducting ghost marriages, especially on Amavasya (new moon).

This temple, associated with Sage Markandeya and dedicated to Janardana, performs unique rituals involving rites for ancestors and the deceased.

Why spirits marry

When a young person dies, his or her spirit is believed to remain restless. Families seeking peace for such souls search for a suitable deceased partner.

The marriage is solemnized by a priest, with traditional wedding attire and rites, including the use of unhusked coconuts to represent the spirits.

Tradition continues

Priest Kudli Ganapati Udupa said ghost marriages at the temple are increasing, highlighting the community's adherence to traditional beliefs.

Although many dismiss this as superstition, some among the educated classes also observe such practices in their ancestral homes.

But since most people have shifted to urban areas in recent times, often no one is available to take part in such wedding within the clans.

A family’s story

Madhu Kulal from Puttur is employed in Dubai. His family learned about a girl child who would have been in her 30s now if she had not died three decades ago.

"We have been looking for a male spirit to marry her for the past four years. This time I placed an advertisement in a newspaper. Within two days I received numerous phone calls. After getting information about a boy (spirit) belonging to our community, we arranged the marriage," Madhu told The Federal.

Tulu tradition

Madhu said he got many telephone calls but most callers did not belong to his family’s community. “About 50 calls came from our own caste. The girl spirit is 30 years old and it has been 40 years since the boy died within a week after birth. This is our Tulu tradition. It does not harm anyone," he added.

Madhu said he had learnt that many others were trying to fix marriages for their lost relatives. “So, I am listing their numbers and connecting them with needy families. This has already helped a couple of families to arrange such marriages."

“Height of superstition”

Tulu folklore scholar and Kannada literature expert Prof. Na. Damodara Shetty decried the ritual.

"Such incidents are the height of superstition,” he told The Federal. “All these ideas of ghosts are baseless, unscientific beliefs. It is wrong to support such delusions.

“The argument that the souls of the dead have caste and gotra is very childish. Such marriages are merely an act of psychological gratification. There is no scientific basis for it," he said.

Even frogs marry

Shetty went on: "We believe that man has no caste. It is baseless to say that there is a caste for the souls or clans of the dead.

"In some parts of Karnataka, people conduct ‘frog marriage’ to appease the rain god. Some people marry an Ashvattha tree. This kind of delusional belief is akin to the marriage of ghosts," he explained.