Lisa Ray interview: ‘Motherhood has forced me to prioritize what truly matters’

Dubai-based Ray, dressed in pre-pleated sari-gown in white, a hue which was some years ago not considered ceremonial. She believes that comfort and couture, at first glance, might seem like opposing forces today, but Rahul Mishra masterfully bridges this gap. “His designs are like poetry; they tell a story, evoke emotions, and yet, they feel like a second skin. There’s an ethereal quality to his work, a sense of weightlessness that coexists beautifully with the intricate details and craftsmanship. I’ve always believed that fashion is about empowerment. It’s about feeling confident in your own skin. Rahul’s creations do just that. They celebrate the feminine form,” says Ray.

‘India that has captured my heart and soul’

Last year, she had the “incredible opportunity” to visit Sitara in the Himalayas, with a small group, and that is where she met Rahul and Divya. Their shared passion for mountains and nature created a deep connection and made the experience truly unforgettable. “Rahul and Divya are exceptional individuals. I had the opportunity to witness Rahul’s profound love for nature, which undoubtedly fuels his creative process. Divya is not only a remarkable person but also a driving force behind their brand. Together, they form one of India’s most dynamic creative power couples,” says Ray.

Ray is mom to twin daughters — Soleil and Sufi. She began acting in 1996, with G. Kicha’s Tamil film Nethaji, which was followed by Vikram Bhatt’s Kasoor (2001), opposite Aftab Shivdasani. For her wedding — to businessman Jason Dehni in the Napa Valley in 2012 — she wore a beautiful long white saree gown, with gold work all over it. “It was a classic choice. As white symbolizes purity, elegance, and sophistication, while gold adds a touch of luxury and opulence. The floral patterns bring a feminine and romantic touch, making the gown both timeless and modern. The long trail is reminiscent of the peacock’s iridescent feathers. Each layer of the trail seemed to mimic the feather’s delicate curvature, creating a sense of movement and life,” says Ray.

She says she forgets she has a mixed heritage until someone reminds her. “Even though my mother is Polish, she had a very Indian soul. I literally grew up between Canada and Calcutta (now Kolkata). It’s India that has captured my heart and soul. This connection runs deep, and it’s a place where I find an unparalleled sense of belonging,” she smiles.

A memory, and a connection

Fashion, she admits, should be a celebration of individuality, not a rigid conformity. While trends can be inspiring, blindly following them can stifle personal style. As a mother, author, and cancer survivor, “I believe in dressing for yourself, prioritizing comfort and sustainability.” True beauty shines from within, and fashion should be a tool to enhance your confidence, not define you, she adds. By making conscious choices and embracing diversity, we can create a fashion world that empowers everyone, she confesses. 

As the show began with the Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan number Afreen Afreen, it must have brought back a tsunami of memories, as Ray was in the video of that song, standing tall on sand dunes. “My feelings were a complex mix. Certainly, there was nervousness given my hiatus from the runway. Divya was aware that I had recently been on a retreat and was in a different mental space. However, the most striking aspect wasn’t the emotional turmoil but the realization that I was walking for Afreen Afreen, an iconic song that I had filmed 25 years ago in Jodhpur. It presented a unique opportunity for me to showcase how I have evolved as a person in that time. The experience allowed me to reflect on my journey, from a young model who did not understand her worth to a more mature woman with a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me. I wanted to convey this growth through my walk on the ramp,” she says.

Couture has a different meaning for Ray. That’s why she wore Wendell Rodricks and Tarun Tahiliani for her wedding. Choosing Rodricks was a deeply sentimental decision; he was not just a designer but her cherished friend. “Unlike most brides who meticulously plan their wedding attire, I was consumed by work commitments, filming a project. Despite the hectic schedule, Wendell went above and beyond, accommodating my fittings amidst his own busy life. Beyond the exquisite design, the gown carried a profound emotional weight. It represented more than just fashion; it symbolized a connection and shared journey. Wearing his creation on my special day was a heartfelt tribute to our friendship. It’s a memory that continues to bring me immense joy,” she reiterates. 

A new focus, and newfound resilience

Her passion for art has always been a driving force. Co-founding Upside Space was a natural progression. The Upside Space (TUS) is a digital arts platform that showcases the works of artists from Southeast Asia, South Asia, and the Middle East. They use NFTs and blockchain. Ray has been a collector of Indian contemporary art for years. “When Aisha Khan approached me with the idea of a digital art platform, I was immediately on board. Last year, I was deeply involved in the platform, overseeing its creative direction, a role I thoroughly enjoyed. While Upside Space continues to thrive, my current focus has shifted. I’m excited to explore new avenues and projects. My life is a constant interplay of creativity and expression, and I’m eager to see where this journey takes me next,” she adds.

The past few years have been a period of significant transformation for Ray. Motherhood has undeniably been the cornerstone of this change, reshaping priorities, and perspective. Balancing family life with a nomadic existence between India and Dubai has been challenging yet incredibly rewarding. “I have discovered a newfound resilience and strength through these experiences. Additionally, I have been immersed in writing a new book, a project that has been both fulfilling and demanding. My commitment to cancer advocacy remains steadfast as I continue to share my story and inspire others on their journeys. Recent days spent in retreat have provided invaluable time for reflection and rejuvenation, leaving me feeling refreshed and ready to embrace the next chapter,” she confides.

Motherhood has been a profound catalyst for growth and transformation. It is a journey filled with immense joy and challenges that have shaped Ray in countless ways. While there are undoubtedly demanding days, the rewards are immeasurable. “Becoming a mother has ignited a new level of creativity within me, pushing me to explore uncharted territories. The unconditional love and constant stimulation from my children have opened fresh perspectives and inspired innovative ideas. Moreover, motherhood has forced me to prioritize what truly matters. It has drawn me closer to my roots, making it a priority to introduce my children to India’s rich culture and heritage. This journey of discovery has been incredibly fulfilling,” she adds. Essentially, it has elevated the capacity for love, empathy, and resilience. It is a role that challenges her daily, but also rewards with a depth of fulfilment unlike anything else.