Aruna* — an assistant professor in an engineering college — and her husband Vinod — an executive engineer in a government department — both in their late 40s, lead seemingly conventional lives.Their marriage, in its third year, took an unexpected turn when Aruna discovered that Vinod identifies as gay. Until that point, she believed the reluctance in their physical intimacy was her...

Aruna* — an assistant professor in an engineering college — and her husband Vinod — an executive engineer in a government department — both in their late 40s, lead seemingly conventional lives.

Their marriage, in its third year, took an unexpected turn when Aruna discovered that Vinod identifies as gay. Until that point, she believed the reluctance in their physical intimacy was her issue, prompting them to seek guidance from a sex therapist. Despite the counsellor’s efforts, they couldn’t coax him to open up. The revelation finally occurred during Vinod’s ICU stay following an accident when he, fearing for life, unexpectedly shared his truth. Despite the challenges this revelation posed, Aruna opted to persevere in the marriage, driven by her desire for a child. They welcomed a son, who is now a 19-year-old, pursuing a medical degree in Karnataka.

Over time, the couple navigated a shift in their relationship dynamics, maintaining a familial facade while confronting the changing contours of their intimacy.

“Jyothika’s character in the recently released movie Kaathal - the Core resonated deeply with me. The emotions and experiences depicted were remarkably reflective of my own feelings, although my husband and I did not part ways in life,” Aruna tells The Federal.

Jeo Baby’s film starring Mammootty has reignited discussions about homosexuality in Kerala. The movie delves into the life of Mathew, a highly regarded retired cooperative bank employee. The central plot revolves around Mathew’s wife filing for divorce, citing his homosexuality as the primary reason. The film has sparked a fresh round of dialogue and contemplation on the topic of homosexuality within the societal context of Kerala.

The prevailing perception in society is that members of the LGBTQI — an umbrella term for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people —community, are transgender individuals assumed to engage in same-sex relationships while wearing feminine attire.

Despite being the only state in the country to have launched a Transgender Policy formulated on the basis of a right-based framework, discrimination against queer people is common in Kerala. Homosexuals face avoidance and discrimination from the mainstream society due to negative stereotypes and perceptions about homosexuality. Despite Kerala initiating numerous welfare programmes aimed at integrating and uplifting the transgender community, the same has not brought about societal change.

Queer rights activists and community members are of the opinion that it is so because these initiatives primarily address gender minorities and not sexual minorities. The conversations sparked by the movie Kaathal have highlighted this specific aspect of societal behaviour.

A still from Kaathal - the Core.

A still from Kaathal - the Core.

“The 2015 government policy was not part of any solidarity statement from the government but a direct fallout of the Supreme Court judgment on the NALSA versus GoI case in which the court made a distinction between biological sex and psychological sex,” says Prijith PK, a queer rights activist and researcher who works as the diversity inclusion manager of the Kerala Knowledge economy mission, a government project.

“The follow-up actions taken by the subsequent LDF government in Kerala was commendable, but it should be noted that in a similar judgment that decriminalised homosexuality, no government took any proactive actions even though the court had called for implementation of advocacy programmes for the community. This shows the kind of sexuality phobia our society has. They are okay in identifying and recognising gender minorities, but not sexual minorities,” Prijith tells The Federal.

Prijith emphasises the importance of carefully selecting terminology to refer to LGBTQI individuals. He recommends using terms like “androsexual” or “gynosexual” instead of “gay” or “lesbian”. He is particularly insistent that the term “alternate sexuality” is not appropriate, as it implies a deviation from the norm. According to Prijith, it’s crucial to use language that normalises diverse sexual orientations and identities within this realm.

According to Kishor Kumar, who openly identified as gay and documented his journey in the 2017 autobiography When Two Men Kiss, transmen and transwomen find it relatively easier to conform to a binary heteronormative world. “Gender expressions being a visible thing, transpeople have no way of hiding their identity,” says Kishor.

“Homosexuals have a lot to lose if their identity is revealed. Unlike transgender identity, gay-lesbian identity is directly related to sex and sexuality. So, the social stigma associated with anything sex related affects them more,” feels Kishor.

Kishor’s book, delving into his coming-out process and recounting his societal and familial experiences, received widespread readership and acclaim.

“I could manage my coming out well because I have exposure of living in the US. But after publicly coming out through newspaper articles, and later the autobiography, in Kerala, I had to quit my IT job, leave the US and return to India. It was a very stressful period. It is a fact that the stress experienced by homosexuals has decreased considerably after 2018, when homosexuality was depathologised and decriminalised in India. Few people come out fearing stigma and judgement. My autobiography published in 2017 probably paid some part in building public awareness on this human rights issue,” he shares.

“Homosexual men often remain less visible in mainstream society, primarily due to the pervasive fear of rejection and exclusion. Many individuals are hesitant to disclose their sexual orientation, contributing to this invisibility. In contrast, transgender individuals are becoming more visible in mainstream society, leading to a common misperception that the entire LGBT community is synonymous with the transgender community,” says Dr MS Aneesh, who has done extensive research on the subject.

“However, there’s a gradual shift in modern society towards greater acceptance of transgender individuals. Both government and private support groups have organised programmes to enhance their lives. The increased visibility of transgender people has resulted in more societal support, as they have formed groups to collectively combat exclusion and discrimination,” adds Aneesh.

This ‘sexual minority-gender minority’ issue has been in discussion of late in Kerala and received special attention when Dr MK Muneer, former minister for social justice, who played a key role in drafting the Transgender Policy in 2015, openly criticised the present Pinarayi Vijayan-led state government’s support for homosexuality.

Dr Muneer, who is a doctor by training, went on to assert that such support was responsible for sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV-AIDS. Dr Muneer made the comments while opposing incumbent social justice and higher education minister Dr R Bindu, who is a supporter of the sexual minorities.

“The Indian Psychiatric Society in 2018 rectified their stance on homosexuality, removing it from the list of mental diseases. But doctors of the older generation like Muneer will find it difficult to accept it,” Kishor Kumar believes.

A significant number of androsexual men face neglect or discrimination in access to medical facilities, and numerous studies have documented anecdotes highlighting these instances.

Dr MS Aneesh quotes one such 27-year-old man from north Kerala in his PhD thesis.

“Last year, I consulted a dermatologist in a government hospital to treat an infection on my private part (Anal side). Team of doctors checked and suggested to apply some lotion. When the nurse was applying a lotion to my private part, the (doctor asked) to pour more lotion commenting that as I was a homosexual male who did sex work, and need a plenty of it (sic),” reads the respondent’s experience.

“It’s ironic that Dr Muneer is spreading such rumors and myths about homosexuality despite being aware of the data that indicates HIV is more prevalent among heterosexuals than homosexuals. He continues to make these statements, perhaps, driven by a political agenda,” says Prijith.

According to Dr Aneesh, family space plays a crucial role in defining the entire life of a queer person. In his PhD thesis published in 2020, Dr Aneesh observes: “Gay men have been experiencing physical and emotional torture from their families. Family is the primary unit from where an individual gets primary support. The heteronormative perception makes the family repress other forms of relationships through brutal means like beating, physical torments, mindful avoidance and evasion etc.”

“As marriage is an important process of an individual’s life, homosexual men do not want to enter heterosexual marriages, instead they wish to continue same sex relationships. After the adolescence age, they experience severe issues of sexual orientation. Parents force them to get married to avoid societal dilemmas. Many homosexual men are thrown out of their families after they reveal their sexual orientation,” says Aneesh.

“My study revealed problems faced by homosexual men in their lives. They are vulnerable to different situations and undergo high amount of stress and experience ignorance. It is difficult to imagine how they live all their lives surrounded by anxiety, stress and fear. Homosexual men face a lot of problems and so deserve attention from the State and the civil society,” feels Dr Aneesh.

The trajectory of the queer movement has carved out a space for the community, through persistent struggles and numerous sacrifices. However, recent times have witnessed a concerning trend aimed at diminishing this hard-won space. Instances of cyberbullying and lynching are on the rise, with certain groups and political parties actively working to erase the community’s gains in the social sphere.

Unfortunately, when our constitutional rights face scrutiny in courts, some governments act as passive bystanders. Notably, exceptions like the Kerala state government, which supported marriage equality, stand out. “Despite the judiciary downplaying certain issues, the setback was significant, leaving us with no alternative but to continue the fight, as this is not just a regular battle but a fight for our constitutional rights,” asserts Prijith.

According to the study conducted by Dr Aneesh, there is a class angle to the issue.

“The international companies have workplace inclusion policies for providing more support to LGBT members where equal opportunity is given to them. In Kerala very few workplaces provide the equal support for LGBT community and they have inclusion policies to reduce the homophobic attack from heterosexual colleagues. The private and daily wages employees experience more issues and most often they face inequality in wages and other areas like promotion and job preferences. Some of the homosexual men experience sexual violence from higher authorities and they are forced to do sex with them. The physical and verbal harassment seem to be very common and most of the people have experienced physical and verbal attack from their co-workers (sic),” reads his thesis.

While films like Kaathal have attempted to address the issue, it is noticeable that not many films or literary works portray same-sex love as natural or ordinary. Instead, such relationships are often depicted with a sense of novelty, treating the characters involved as special or distinct from the mainstream. They are not consistently presented as individuals who are simply part of the broader societal fabric.

“If we present a college hostel in a movie, traditionally, all the characters are expected to be straight, which doesn’t reflect the reality of life. Our creative works tend to mirror societal openness, or the lack thereof,” states Prijith.

He notes that the evolving landscape, influenced by exposure to foreign films, series, and other fictional works, is gradually shifting. Prijith attributes these changes to the evolving perspectives of the younger generation.

Kaathal offers an opportunity to help convey the message subtly to the society living in denial to its very clear reality.

(*Some names have been changed to protect identities.)

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